anxiety

Will Anyone Sponsor Me for “Cell Phone Addicts Anonymous”?

/ exploratrix / Leave a comment

Seriously, I’ve hit rock bottom.
It’s not important HOW I lost my phone or WHY my phone is never charged or WHERE I ended up finding it (all of these questions have embarrassing answers that will definitely ruin my street cred). What does concern me, however, is the fact that after 20 hours without my phone, I was already exhibiting pseudo-symptoms of withdrawal. I was an irritable, nervous wreck all day solely because I lost my one connection to the outside world — if the outside world is Twitter and memes. Guys, if I can’t even handle a cell phone addiction, how will I be able to handle the burgeoning Adderall addiction I’m slated to have in my sophomore year of college?!


So let’s just check with WebMD right? Checking off all my symptoms, I’m nearly slated to be suffering withdrawal or hepatitis probably, either one being equally legitimate. 

  • Mild withdrawal symptoms  may include:
    • Intense worry.
    • Nausea or vomiting.
    • Shakiness.
    • Sweating.
    • Feeling a little tense or edgy.

Severe withdrawal symptoms may include:

    • Being extremely confused, jumpy, or upset.
    • Feeling things on your body that are not there.
    • Seeing or hearing things that are not there.
    • Severe trembling

(Ok, these could be withdrawal symptoms or just a normal day in the life…am I right guys???)

I’m trying to be half-serious here. Last night, I nearly cried myself to sleep at the thought of going to school without my phone with me at all times. I reached out for a “phantom phone” multiple times. I spent entire class periods lamenting how I had no means to check the time — while there was a watch tightly fastened to my left wrist and a clock mounted on the wall no more than two feet away from me. I had to schedule three college interviews today, and I nearly broke down when I realized I couldn’t check my calendar for my availabilility. Is this level of cell phone dependence normal? Part of me hopes that I’m not the only person who wails in front of her mother about how she can’t function throughout the day without her phone, but then the rest of me really hopes you’re not as much of a hopeless waste of space absorbed in their phone for 23.5 hours a day like me. 

A Mediocre First Line for a Mediocre Girl

/ exploratrix / 1 Comment

Somebody pinch me. It can’t be 2017 already.

I know it’s really cliche to look ahead in disbelief at the normal passage of time, but this year out of all 18 years of my existence gets the prestigious honor of being absolutely terrifying to even think about. The mountain of college applications and scholarship essays currently consuming my life have done a decent job of distracting me from the reality that in just a few months, I’ll know where I’ll be going to college and starting the first step towards my adult life. I’m starting this blog to document the final year of my “childhood” and find an outlet for the anxiety and existential crises that are sure to result as a consequence of the gravity of my situation.

I also started this website because I felt as if my writing abilities were somewhat lacking. My favorite English teacher told our class that the best ways to become a better writer are to read and write – a lot. I’ve already started on the writing end in countless journals, but I’ll admit that I only crack them open sporadically, and half of my journals are filled with my daily blabberings about teenage girl drama I vicariously lived through. I hope to write about my impressions on everything now and be able to map out my own intellectual awakening as I explore new books and ideas. And for sake of accountability, I’m publishing it here.

This may just be another one of my grand ideas or “New Years Resolutions” that never come to fruition, but I honestly hope it can be so much more